the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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