I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
