literally had 100 drinks last night.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
