You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
