Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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