Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
