I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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