bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
