I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
