What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
