I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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