I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
