I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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