I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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