I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
