Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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