there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
