Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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