I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
