I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
