You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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