its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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