Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the day after is always just damage control
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
