i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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