This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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