I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
