Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
