That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
