How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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