he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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