well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
