u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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