I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
