he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
