dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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