you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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