Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize