I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Still dying that you shit outside
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
