That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
