So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
