There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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