she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
