as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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