You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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