Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize