when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
