therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
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I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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