i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
