Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
