I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize