Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize