I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He has the fingertips of a God
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