he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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