His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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