Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize