I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
"it" just moved
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
