I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
