I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
