OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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