I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am