so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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